One detail has stayed with me: how young so many of the people involved were. Woodward and Bernstein were in their twenties. Several White House aides and campaign staff were only in their early thirties. They were smart, talented, ambitious people who had been given remarkable opportunities early in their careers.

And yet, their ambition took them in very different directions.

I’m now reading Garrett Graff’s Watergate: A New History. It is a much heavier lift, but even early in the book, it has given me another perspective on the same story. I’m seeing more clearly how the environment surrounding these young political staffers helped shape decisions that, from the outside, seem difficult to understand.

It has left me thinking about something much broader than Watergate:

Ambition matters. But so do the people and environments that shape where that ambition leads.

We Are Shaped More Than We Realize

We often think about relationships as sources of support.
Who encourages us? Who listens when we need to talk? Who helps when things get difficult?

Those relationships matter. But relationships are also sources of influence.

The people around us help shape what we believe is normal. They influence the behaviors we see rewarded, the questions we feel comfortable asking, the things we begin to overlook, and even the choices we make.

We see this every day at work. Every organization sends signals about what matters. Every team develops norms about how people behave. Every leader demonstrates, intentionally or unintentionally, what is acceptable.

And every relationship teaches us something.

Most of the time, that influence happens so gradually that we barely notice it.

Similar Ambition. Very Different Influences.

That may be what has fascinated me most as I’ve revisited Watergate.

On one side were young political aides working in an environment where loyalty was highly valued. Dissent became increasingly difficult. Small compromises accumulated. Protecting the organization and the people within it became more important than questioning what was happening.

I don't think that means these were simply bad people making bad choices.

That's too easy of an explanation.

What's more interesting, and perhaps more unsettling, is considering how capable, ambitious people can gradually adapt to the expectations of the people and culture around them.

The environment did not create their ambition. It helped shape how that ambition was expressed.

Then there were Woodward and Bernstein. They were young and ambitious too.

But their ambition was surrounded by a very different set of influences.

Their editors challenged them with questions like:

• Do you have another source?
• Can you verify that?
• Are you sure?

They were encouraged to keep asking questions, but they were also expected to meet expected standards before their reporting was published. Their ambition wasn't diminished by those guardrails. It was strengthened by them.

The contrast is striking.

Both groups were influenced by the people around them.
One environment increasingly normalized protecting a narrative. The other reinforced continuing to question it.

The difference wasn't ambition. It was what surrounded the ambition.    

What About Us?

Most of us will never face decisions as consequential or as public as those surrounding Watergate.

But we are all influenced by the people around us.

Think about the people you work with every day. The colleagues you seek out when you're uncertain. The friend you call when you have a difficult decision to make. The leader whose approval matters to you. The mentor who asks you the question you would rather avoid.

Some relationships make us more courageous. Some make us more thoughtful. Some help us see possibilities we couldn't see on our own.

And some, if we're not paying attention, can gradually make us comfortable with things we once would have questioned.

That's why I think trust and relationships deserve more attention than simply asking, Who can I count on?

Perhaps we should also ask:

Who challenges my thinking? Who is willing to respectfully disagree with me, ask the hard question, or help me see something I might be missing?

Who reinforces my values?
Who reminds me of what matters when the easier choice starts looking attractive?

Who influences my decisions even when I don't realize it?
Whose expectations am I responding to? Whose approval am I seeking? What behaviors have I gradually adopted simply because they are normal among the people around me?

These aren't questions we answer once. Our relationships change. Our roles change. And so do the voices that have influence in our lives.

Trust isn't only about whether we can rely on another person. The people we trust are also often the people whose perspectives we listen to, whose advice carries weight, and whose behaviors we may begin to mirror.

That makes relationships more powerful than we sometimes realize.

Every workplace has a culture. Every team has norms. Every relationship is teaching us something about what is expected, rewarded, and acceptable.

The question isn't whether the people around you are influencing you.

They are.

Perhaps the better questions are:

• Who is helping shape who you want to become?
  

• And who is helping shape the choices and decisions you make along the way?